Fear of Toilets

There really is no better way to describe what happened to me today, other than to paste the gtalk conversation where TJ took great delight in my misfortune…

Doom: i
 have
 the funniest
 story
 to
 tell
 you
TJ: tell me
Doom: ok
 the preface is going to give it away
 but its necessary
TJ: ok
Doom: i have a fear of public toilets backfiring on me when i flush, after ive pooped
TJ: i like it already!
Doom: you know, instead of flushing down, it spews my own defecation and urine all over my bare ass and back
 (btw, you are getting an exclusive on todays post)
TJ: i changed my mind, I LOVE it
 keep going!
Doom: ok so, this morning has been crazy rushed
 trying to push this stuff out live
 and i hadnt had a chance to get to my 10am meeting with the porcelein king
 so, methinks that i made the king mad
 because at 1230, i went to pay my respects
 it was good meeting
 all went well
 it was even a rare finish, not requiring much clean up at all
TJ: gah you and the damn detail
Doom: the story is not funny without detail
 ok so
 my fear
 of toilets backfiring
 as i flushed, and before i could bring my pants to my waist
 the gasket on the flush mechanism must have been loose
TJ: i wish you could hear me laughing
Doom: and i remember now, because i went in yesterday and there was an overweight maintenance man “fixing” it
TJ: i sound like a lunatic
Doom: so
 as my hand was coming back up from pressing the lever down
 i heard the noise
 of a large, central-park-sized water fountain
 and i felt my ass begin to get wet
 and i turn and look
 and sure enough
 there is water spewing everywhere
 clean water, but still, water
TJ: omfg i can’t breathe
Doom: so in one superhuman motion
 i flung open the stall door
 with one hand
 and managed to pull up my pants, zipper, button, and tuck in my shirt with the other
TJ: wow
Doom: because i didnt know if someone would be wakling at the time that i was falling out of the stall, wet
 so now my slacks are soaked
 my back is soaked
 and im standing there, looking at myself in the big mirror
 trying to figure out what to do
 its not exactly a short walk back to my desk
 so i grabbed as many paper hand towels as i could
 and went into the OTHER stall
 dropped my pants
 and began to towel off my legs
 i dried off, composed myself, dried off my pants and shirt
 and nobody knows
TJ: except for meeee~!

What is the moral of this story? TJ is an evil wench!

9 Responses to Fear of Toilets

  1. Valenna says:

    I lol’d. Sorry. Glad to hear that NO ONE knows about it.

  2. LOL

    one of those days, eh?

  3. [...] back on the left side, really started bugging me, so much that I just needed to lay down. Reading the post that Doom made today, and remembering our conversations from this morning, I remembered taking bets [...]

  4. Lalecize says:

    At least no one had done the cling wrap trick :p

  5. Wildhermit says:

    That is the greatest story I have ever heard…. well at least this morning :)

  6. Dick says:

    that was awesome! The only fear of toilets I have is if the seat is going to cut the circulation off to my legs. My toilet at work does and both of my legs from the waist down go to sleep and I have be careful when I get and walk that I dont fall down.

  7. Elistana says:

    Hahaha… awesome… Yeah, I ran my arena team for like 4-5 weeks without training up hemo LOL… I know the feeling :P

    P.S. I can’t see your talents, but I saw you are 11/26/24… I am pretty sure I know what you took. It is an interesting spec with some awesome utility. Let me know how you like it after a few more weeks of testing it.

  8. doomilias says:

    hey el…i think you’ve been leaving comments in the wrong posts :)

    the leave comments link is at the top of all of my posts. hehe.

    but yes, the utility so far has been awesome. and the dps isnt a bad as i thought itd be. especially on bosses.

  9. Elistana says:

    LOL… well then yeah, I’m posting comments under the “blogger.com” mentality where they are below. Oops!

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